Tuesday , 27 October 2020
Desiree and Jayden. (Submitted by Desiree Wile)

Local mother shares Jayden’s story to combat bullying

Desiree Wile is urging parents to have open communication with their children after the loss of her son.

Wile, a part-owner of Dark Hour Ink, is asking parents to be more involved with their child’s lives to talk about bullying, which impacted her 15-year-old son Jayden before he committed suicide last year.

This tragedy has pushed Wile to share Jayden’s story online in hopes that other children and parents will not suffer the way her family has.

“I know he’s around and I have to take that because it’s very lonely. He was my first everything. I just need to be happy and find new ground and this is how I’m going to do it,” said Wile.

Having spoken at parent nights in the past year, Wile hopes to speak to schools in the future to share Jayden’s story and let students know they’re not by themselves.

“Losing Jayden shook the whole community and in such a tragic way with the bullying and what he went through and what he was made to feel. He didn’t like to be alone, his whole life from the time he was born, he didn’t like to be alone. In those last minutes, he felt so alone,” states Wile.

She wants families to get to know the people their kids are surrounding themselves with by speaking to schools, friends, and their parents so their kids never feel alone.

“It doesn’t matter what [parents] have going on. The day-to-day is going to be there but your kids aren’t. One day they’re going to grow up and spread their wings and paint their own canvas. We’re going to be sitting back to watch them grow. Before they leave the nest, we need to instill in them that they’re not alone, that no matter what, no one has a right to make you feel unworthy.”

She believes kids need to be shown that they have a support system that they could speak to about any troubles in their lives.

“[Jayden] would talk to me about everything and if he didn’t I would find out and go to him about it. There was nothing he knew that he couldn’t come to me about. For some reason, the specific situation, he felt he could handle on his own.”

With two younger brothers, Wile said Jayden kept to himself feeling his mom was busy, and she mentioned Jayden started hanging with a group of friends that she had never met before.

“I trusted him. He was a very good kid, he was honours. I remember saying to my husband, ‘he’s honours, he’s almost distinction. He’s got to be doing okay, right?’. Even that day he got off the bus, he was making plans for the summer.”

Wile said a rumor swirling around online involving a female and Jayden led to his suicide.

“Once he got off the bus, there was a [Snapchat] story sent out about him.”

“He told me about the bullying, the rumour, and everything happening to him, but he was saying ‘mom I got it, trust me’ and he didn’t. He just didn’t want to cause any extra stress to my day,” adds Wile.

Wile believes there are additional online conversations surrounding Jayden’s death that she has been unable to access.

As far as she knows, the cyberbullying preceding Jayden’s suicide hasn’t stopped.

“This girl that was in this situation as well is still being picked on about it. People are telling her that it’s because of her that he killed himself. It’s not. It’s horrible what these kids are doing to each other and there are no consequences. Not with everybody, but the majority of them are.”

Wile said her son was always someone to help others and looks to keep his journey alive.

“At his funeral, I don’t remember a lot of it, but there were five or six people that came up to me and said ‘ I am alive because of your son’. I can’t let that go. I have to help these kids.”

For the situation that led up to Jayden’s death, Wile said she is currently considering legal counsel in order for there to be consequences.

About Tre Lopushinsky

Tre is the lead reporter/editor at Lloyd Connect. He is a NAIT Radio and Television alumni. Tre has experience in radio, audio production, video editing and news reporting. During his time at NAIT he worked as a sports editor for the college paper and was a commentator for NAIT Ooks Basketball and volleyball teams. Some residents may know him as being the "giant employee" in the community for the past two years. Tre, for some reason, hasn’t veered away from his childhood as he has a passion for collecting figures (not dolls!).

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